Sanity and Change

It has been a while since my last post. I have spent that time working and packing and settling my mind with the idea that I am moving to Wichita. I'm scared. Yes, it is irrational. I know. As much as I tell myself everything will be fine, I can't make myself believe it.

I don't handle change well. To be honest, I never have. Every time I move, switch jobs, or even cancel a night at the movies, I am thrown into upheaval. I like to be in control and when I'm not, I panic.

What does this have to do with you? Well, nothing... directly... but I have the feeling that I'm not the only one who struggles with change. Change pushes us out of our comfort zones. We are forced to expand our horizons, make new friends, and learn new things. Sometimes it is hard but much of the time it is rewarding as well. All that said, here are a few tips of staying sane through life's upheavals.

1. FAMILIARITY

If you are moving to a new place or even a new office, the upset of a new environment can stress out your psyche even without the additional stresses associated with massive change. Limit the harsh effects of a new environment by bringing some of your old environment with you. Pictures of family, favorite decorations, blankets, books, etc... Having parts of your old environment in the picture with help you acclimate more easily and personal items have a calming effect on stressed minds. That is why children so often have comfort items.

2. STOMPING GROUNDS

Let me start by saying: DON'T DO WHAT I DO... I tend to curl up and hide when I'm uncomfortable. OK, not really, but emotionally I do. I reject the unfamiliar and stay within the tightest bounds possible: work, school, home, work, school, home....

This method doesn't work well for me and it won't work well for you either. In fact, because I know this method doesn't work, I am going to try very hard not to fall into it when I get to Wichita. What I'm going to do instead is familiarize myself with the city. I'm going to visit restaurants, stores, and parks. I'm going to look at a map to figure out the layout of the city and what the best routes are. I'm going to let myself get lost (after I'm sure my GPS is working.) By becoming familiar with my new environment, I will establish it as a comfort zone. Instead of feeling isolated and uncomfortable, I will hopefully begin to recreate the familiarity I had with my old home and job and school.

3. FRIENDS

Friends are a hard change to make. We make friends with people for a reason. We like them. When we have to leave and find new friends, it is easy to search for the perfect person and be overly critical when "Sally" is different then "Jessica," who you left back home. Don't fall into this trap. You can remain friends with people you knew before and make friends with new people too. Embrace everyone for who they are. New friends are part of new experiences and they make life in a new place more bearable.


I only hope I can follow my own advice. Au revoir, Tulsa!